Ben Pechey on Living Life Authentically, Pride 2025

Ben Pechey is an award winning non-binary author, presenter, DEI consultant, and LGBT+ educator.

This year to celebrate Pride 2025, we caught up with friend of the brand, Ben Pechey to talk about queer representation, personal style and gender expression as well as the importance of Pride being both a celebration and a protest.

Can you share a bit about your personal journey in discovering and embracing your identity?

I guess having lived with myself, in a fully embraced ideal of myself for a while, I don’t think it is worthy of discussion. But, I know other people can take so much from it. I didn’t realise there were options outside of set binaries until I saw queer people in the flesh. That representation, the authenticity of spirit, opened up my entire world. That was nearly a decade ago, and so it has been ten years of opening up to myself in big ways, and small ones too. One of the easiest ways I can describe my journey in discovering and embracing my identity hinges on the word yes. What I mean, is that any questions that have popped into my head surrounding gender I have simply answered yes. Can I do this? Can I wear that? Could this make me happy? Saying yes feels like it can be a huge set of risks, but I have found it to be the opposite. For me, it is a low-stakes opportunity to find out about myself. Not everything has worked, and some things have come in and out of my identity. However, the one thing that has stayed a constant in my life, is my ability to say yes when it comes to curiosity of self.

How has fashion helped you express your identity or gender expression over time?

Fashion has been my one constant friend throughout the last decade of gender exploration. Because clothing is so temporary, we can take ideas of self off and on, and it can almost become a game. It isn’t always profound, some days fashion has done more heavy lifting, and some days it can be throwaway. I was entranced by the idea of Cher’s (Horowitz) digital wardrobe, that let her play dress up. That sense of fun is something I have always tried to embody. Fashion is a language that the world can read and understand. The codes of fashion are ours to play with. Thus, fashion can be the alphabet of self, but also tap into subcultures, music, style icons, 30s film noir femme fatales, gender, no gender, and so many more references. I owe fashion a huge amount when it comes to the way I express myself.

Reflecting on queer representation, how has it impacted you?

Queer representation is what led me to where I am today. Representation has been the gift that has allowed me to open up to a world of possibilities within myself. It has helped me come to the full realisation of myself. It has shown me that I am on the right path. I think what is important to remind all of us, is that although we may not have grown up with representation, it has always been there. The rich and varied history of the community stands for itself, and yet how many of us can fully say they are an expert on our history? Schools could be teaching us about the Compton Cafeteria Riots, the Lesbian Blood Drives of the Aids epidemic, Section 28, The forgotten first Trans Clinic destroyed by the Nazis in Berlin, and so many more. Our history acts as a library of how we have been systemically let down, but that we have always been here, and mostly survived it all. If you want to make up for lost time, then I urge you to check out my weekly series; Queer History Lessons, the essential Queer history and knowledge series, with new episodes dropping every Wednesday!

How can clothing be a form of empowerment for LGBTQ+ folks?

In so many ways clothing can be your best friend. I have been expelling the virtues of your wardrobe for years. Clothing can be empowering in a few ways; Conversation Starters Whether we like it or not, clothing says something about who we are as people. What we choose to wear whether it be wavy rainbow trousers, or a simple black dress, tells other people about us. So you can dress in ways that communicate what matters to you. Getting dressed can do so much talking for you which can be helpful when the world feels hostile. Armour Clothing can absolutely be something you draw strength from. You can dress in a way that helps you navigate the world in a way that makes you feel comfortable. If you’re all about colour, you can disarm people. If layers and texture are how you feel good, then get layering. However you choose to present can give you power and protection. Role Play I jokingly refer to myself as the Trans Loraine Kelly, which refers to a court case centring on Kelly’s tax. Loraine Kelly is deemed to ‘present a persona of herself’. This means that her work is seen as a role she steps into. In the same way, I use clothing to help me step into my work, whether that be content creation, presenting, or delivering a TEDX talk. Clothing can give you confidence, by providing you with a structure to be the best version of yourself.

How can people create safe spaces for the community?

Safe spaces are a term that is often thrown around, but they are something that we desperately need. Safe spaces can look and be different depending on needs. It can vary from making sure everyone can use the toilet that they’re most comfortable with at work. Supporting charity-run support groups financially, making them available to trans+ people who are looking for connection and community. Inclusive & welcoming signage in spaces like gyms, changing rooms, clubs, makeup counters, and any other places where trans people can be excluded. Whatever you can do, please try and ensure that the spaces you interact with are safe spaces for trans+ people. This may feel like you have to take on some risk in standing up for LGBTQIA+ people especially trans+ people, but I ask you, to put yourself in our shoes and imagine what it must feel like to experience this first-hand. Suddenly the risk you might have felt, the possible discomfort, it pales in comparison. Letting go of your fear, and unwaveringly supporting us as a community is vital now more than ever.

Advice for people who want to express themselves authentically?

DO IT! I'm being flippant by giving this simple answer. In reality, it is more nuanced. One thing that I have learned in life is that our time on this earth is brief in the grand scheme of things, so it doesn't make sense to spend our time not being comfortable, happy, or ourselves. Expressing yourself authentically will open so many doors, it will enrich your life and will help you get more out of life. Don’t Rush Start small, by making small adjustments. This might be pronouns, clothing, a haircut, or the way you refer to yourself. Gently over time, you will be able to take bigger steps and feel more and more comfortable. Break it in gently when it comes to clothing/makeup/hair. You can try all of these things in the comfort of your own space (not everyone will have safety at home sadly so this is not a given) and get comfortable in your own time away from other people who can often be roadblocks by offering unsolicited opinions. Document it all. I am in a very privileged position, having been on the internet for nearly a decade. In that time I have documented my style and I have a huge archive of images I can look back to see my growth. You can follow this too! Take selfies, mirror shots, TikTok videos, whatever you want, and build an archive so you can see how authenticity is helping you be yourself, and also to help you see what you do & don’t like!

What does Pride month mean to you?

Each year that I work within the LGBTQIA+ industry, my feelings towards Pride Month change. This year feels different yet again. 2025, a year fuelled by division, hatred, and identity politics, has not been auspicious thus far, which has left the LGBTQIA+ community feeling incredibly vulnerable going into what should be a time of celebration. I don’t feel celebratory. I don’t feel enough is being done. I fear that things are getting worse, not better. The origins of pride both here in the U.K. and in the U.S. belong to protest. This year, we need to go back to our roots, using protest as a method of communication, as our line in the sand. It is fundamental that we don’t let this situation get worse than it already is.

Pride Month 2025 means resistance.

Pride Month 2025 means allies

stepping up to the plate.

Pride Month 2025 means fighting

for the rights we have.

Pride Month 2025 means we take

nothing for granted.

Pride Month 2025 means no one

is safe until we are all safe.

Any resources you'd like to share?

I would love to direct you to the wonderful work of Not A Phase, who run a number of different classes, support groups, and more for trans+ people. If you are trans+ there are so many ways you can connect with the community. Allies can also be involved by supporting the vital work NAP is doing for trans+ people in the UK! I would be remiss if I didn't mention my own work! My Ted Talk is a resource that people talk to me weekly. "Being trans is awful" according to the media, governments, certain authors and ‘charity’ groups, but it’s not trans people sharing this kind of hateful commentary. What if, instead, being trans can be joyful - where trans joy isn’t revolutionary, but an everyday occurance? In this powerful and personal talk, I describe how and why trans joy can be mundane, individual and everyday - accessible to trans and non binary people right now rather than sometime in the future. The Book of Non-Binary Joy whether you are at the start of your journey or have been on the wild ride of gender introspection for a long time, this guide is here to help you thrive as your authentic - and most fabulous - non-binary self. With personal stories, valuable insights and interactive sections, this inspiring book covers a wide range of topics, including mental health, pleasure, fashion, understanding your past, allyship privilege and self-expression. Your Gender Book if you are at the start of your journey with gender identity, or looking to help someone who is, this insightful guide offers a safe space to celebrate you becoming your true - and most joyful - self. With fun activities, resources and LGBTQ+ role models throughout, this book sheds light on everything from gender identity, sex, pronouns and expression, to barriers, mental health, allyship and finding happiness.

Ben Pechey is an award winning non-binary author, presenter, DEI consultant, and LGBT+ educator.

Can you share a bit about your personal journey in discovering and embracing your identity?

How has fashion helped you express your identity or gender expression over time?

Reflecting on queer representation, how has it impacted you?